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Classical Church Hymns

by Secondhand Destruction

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1.
Sermon 01:20
info
2.
Planet Sex 01:35
lyrics
On this planet all every day's an orgy On this planet none of the women wear clothes On this planet everybody sucks cock On this planet all we do is...FUCK! PLANET SEX!! Doesn't really matter if you're straight or gay On this planet nobody ever gets aids On this planet all we do is beat our meat On this planet all we do is...FUCK! PLANET SEX!!
3.
Crime of the Century 01:29
lyrics
Rock n Rolls a crime Will not let us play Forced to turn it down Or find another place Hatred builds inside We only want to play But Rock n Rolls a crime It just does not belong Whats this coming to? Are we animals in a zoo? Whats this coming to? They're taking rock n roll away from you! There's no place to go There's no place to play Its time we let them know That we're here to stay Plenty of things out there Worse than rock n roll But the pigs don't care Its time we let them know What's this coming to? Are we animals in a zoo? What's this coming to? They're taking rock n roll away from you!
4.
Garbage Man 01:13
lyrics
He is made of all the garbage that your family threw away No one knows who built him. He just appeared one day This giant robot is made of fucking traaaash! Lasers are set to kill. He's gonna fucking smaaash! Particle beams and laser guns, gonna fuck up your town Chaos and destruction is the only thing he leaves behind This giant robot is made of fucking traaaash! Lasers are set to kill. He's gonna fucking smaaaash! This robot is made of junk and he smells like a skunk Ghastly sight to behold now its time to fucking run This giant robot is made of fucking traaash! Lasers are set to kill. He's gonna fucking smaaaash!
5.
Love is for Pussies 00:44
lyrics
This songs not a love song (Love really fucking sucks) Everything about love (really pisses me off) Love is for pussies (Never want to fall in love) If I see someone in love (I hope they fucking die) A horrible DEATH! I hope you get cancer and fucking die Maybe a stroke. I can't decide. Bullet in the head, it won't be long Love fucking sucks so I wrote this song LOVE. IS. FOR PUSSIES!!!
6.
Christianity Inc. 01:51
lyrics
Wake up Sunday morning. Don't be late Don't forget the money for the collection plate. And just what did you cash buy? A brand new Porsche for Jesus Christ! There's a knock at my door. Who could it be? Another religious zealot. Trying to steal from me! All of their values that they push and distort Gathering all your money to push the agenda of the church And just what did you cash buy? A private jet for Jesus Christ! Relinquish your wallet to god! Empty your pockets for god! Relinquish your wallet to god! Empty your pockets for god!
7.
Necromancer 02:22
lyrics
Late last night, head to the cemetery. Met up with some buds for a game of D&D They invited Melvin, a total fucking nerd "Who invited this loser?" would be my final words NECRO! NECRO! NECRO! NECROMANCER! Character sheets are written and the games about to start. Melvin tried to cast a spell to avoid being ripped apart. We all laughed at him because he couldn't afford the Mana cost. Unbeknownst to all of us the game would soon be lost! NECRO! NECRO! NECRO! NECROMANCER! Melvin started chanting like a total fucking geek. And after he was finished the woods began to shriek. Something isn't right. Corpses are rising from their graves. Tried to turn and run but the zombies ate my face! NECRO! NECRO! NECRO! NECROMANCER!
8.
Coprophage 00:58
lyrics
Let me tell you about a beast. You won't believe the shit it eats! This nasty beast has a peculiar taste. Lives in the sewers and feeds on our waste. Bowel movements and feces, these are its passion Forget to flush and its your shit it'll be gnashing. Emits a foul order, its covered in flies! Take one sniff and then you will die! EAT SHIT! EAT SHIT! EAT SHIT! EAT SHIT! Coprophage! Coprophage! Coprophage! Coprophage!
9.
Barrels o' Fun 01:09
lyrics
Can't get through the exit cause there's demons in my way! Shoot a barrel with a bullet, blows up in their face! Better stick around cause the party's just begun! Everybody's gonna have barrels of fun! Barrels of fun! Barrels of fun! Barrels of fun for everyone! Barrels of fun for everyone! Climbing up the ladder but the barrels knock me down! Make it to the top, gonna make that monkey frown! Zookeepers got it rough, but this party's just begun! Everybody's gonna have barrels of fun! Barrels of fun! Barrels of fun! Barrels of fun for everyone! Barrels of fun for everyone!
10.
Orifice 00:40
lyrics
I know our love has just begun But all I want is anal fun Why can't you just open up And let me in! Let me in! Vaginal sex just ain't the same Don't wanna play these fucking games I only wanna fuck your butt Let me in! Let me in! Orifice. Oh, Orifice. Why don't you let me in your Orifice? Orifice. Oh, Orifice. Why don't you let me in your Orifice? I know our love has just begun But all I want is anal fun Why can't you just open up And let me in! Let me in!
11.
Shit Sandwich 01:40
lyrics
No bacon. No lettuce. No tomato. (ONLY SHIT!) No pickles. No ketchup. No onions. (ONLY SHIT!) No ham. No swiss. No mayo. (ONLY SHIT!) No roast beef. No chedder. No horsey. (ONLY SHIT!) Shit sandwich. Its all I need. Shit sandwich and a glass of pee! No corned beef. No sauerkraut. No dressing. (ONLY SHIT!) No spinach. No carrots. No relish. (ONLY SHIT!) No salami. No turkey. No chicken. (ONLY SHIT!) No BBQ. No olives. No peppers. (ONLY SHIT!) Shit sandwich. Its all I need. Shit sandwich and a glass of pee! No fish. No tartar. No American. (ONLY SHIT!) No burger. No steak sauce. No tofu. (ONLY SHIT!) No oil. No vinegar. No salt. (ONLY SHIT!) No sauce. No cheese. No nothing! (ONLY SHIT!) Shit sandwich. Its all I need. Shit sandwich and a glass of pee!
12.
Asshole Babies From Your Asshole 03:19
lyrics
Here they come you better run They're coming for your face Asshole babies on the loose Fucking up your day Makes no sense how they were born Coming from your ass Only purpose to fuck you up And take all of your cash Asshole babies from you asshole Aren't too fucking nice They'll beat you up if you don't run Its time for fight or flight Little babies, giant arms, hell of a diaper rash Mutant infants with attitude Beat your fucking ass How they came from your asshole No one really knows Aggression must be from your spouses genes Or so your story goes Give them a bottle, a lullaby and tuck them into bed Pack your bags cause in the morning You are fucking dead! They've got muscles, they want your money Here they come, time to start running Asshole babies from your asshole They've come to beat up us all!
13.
Stephen Hawking Sounds Like A Fucking Retard 01:25
lyrics
Stephen Hawking sounds like a fucking retard! But he is smarter than you! He solved the theory of everything! You couldn't even solve two plus two!
14.
Monogomy 00:06
lyrics
MONOGOMY....SUCKS!!!
15.
Shut Up and Die 01:17
lyrics
Shut up and die don't speak your mind cause I don't give a shit If I wanted your opinion, I'd ask for it Just shut up, don't say a word, its getting fucking old I hope you die and fucking rot, with the roaches and the mold SHUT UP! AND DIE! SHUT UP! Shut up and die you piece of shit, I don't give a fuck If you wanna open your mouth, you're shit outta luck No one wants to hear a word that you have to say Shut up and die, leave me alone. It'd make my fucking day SHUT UP! AND DIE! SHUT UP! Shut up and die don't speak your mind cause I don't give a shit If I wanted your opinion, I'd ask for it Just shut up, don't say a word, its getting fucking old I hope you die and fucking rot, with the roaches and the mold
16.
Premarital Fuck 00:29
lyrics
Don't care what the preacher said (Fucking boys and giving head) Put my dick in her cunt (Orgasm is what I want) Don't wanna follow these fucking rules (Waiting till marriage is for fools) Got no girl? Masturbate! (Fuck me now it can not wait) Premarital. Premarital. Premarital FUCK! Premarital. Premarital. Premarital FUCK!
17.
Fagotron 02:53
lyrics
Fagotron! (x4) Kneel before FAGOTRON (x4)
18.
Cock Mutilation 01:47
lyrics
Tighten it up in a vice Lacerate it in a knife Masturbate with a circular saw Get a blow job from Jaws Cock Mutilation! Cock Mutilation! Cock Mutilation! Mutilate your dick! Take a nail, nail it to a board Stab your sausage with a fork Throw your meat on the fire Strangle it with a piano wire Cock Mutilation! Cock Mutilation! Cock Mutilation! Mutilate your dick! Have Mike Tyson punch it hard Slam it in the door of your car Put it in the paper shredder Fuck it. Never better! Cock Mutilation! Cock Mutilation! Cock Mutilation! Mutilate your dick! Tighten it up in a vice Lacerate it in a knife Masturbate with a circular saw Get a blow job from Jaws Cock Mutilation! Cock Mutilation! Cock Mutilation! Mutilate your dick!
19.
I Just Wanna Rock n' Roll 01:14
lyrics
I just wanna stomp my feet I just wanna slam to the beat I don't want anything slow I just wanna rock n roll I just wanna rock n roll. I just wanna rock n roll. I just wanna rock n roll. I just wanna rock n roll. I don't wanna be stuck in the office all day. I don't wanna be no corporate slave. I just wanna go to the show. I just wanna rock n roll! I just wanna rock n roll. I just wanna rock n roll. I just wanna rock n roll. I just wanna rock n roll.
20.
Dick Snot 02:14
lyrics
In the morning and late at night Need a tissue, don't ask why Here I sit, bout to explode Really need to blow my load Dick snot! Dick snot! Dick snot! DICK SNOT! Monitors glow is really warm Get my fix, internet porn A sick bastard, orgasm fiend Gooey mess on computer screen Dick snot! Dick snot! Dick snot! DICK SNOT! Sticky gooey and its white Stroke my cock and I might Shoot this batch on your face Come on babe no time to waste Dick snot! Dick snot! Dick snot! DICK SNOT! In the morning and late at night Need a tissue, don't ask why Here I sit, bout to explode Really need to blow my load Dick snot! Dick snot! Dick snot! DICK SNOT! DICK SNOT!!!
21.
Built to Splooge 01:13
lyrics
I was built to splooge. Built to splooge! I was built to splooge. Built to splooge! I was built to splooge. Built to splooge! I was built to splooge. Built to splooge! I was born with a porno mag in my fuckings hands Shoot that gooey goodness from my filthy glands I was built to splooge. Built to splooge! I was built to splooge. Built to splooge! I was built to splooge. Built to splooge! I was built to splooge. Built to splooge! See a pretty woman walking down the street Stick my hands down my pants and beat my fucking meat I was built to splooge. Built to splooge! I was built to splooge. Built to splooge! I was built to splooge. Built to splooge! I was built to splooge. Built to fucking....SPLOOGE!!!
22.
Blow Your Mind 01:51
lyrics
Secondhand Destruction and we don't give a fuck Buried our morals in a pile of smut Write lyrics and rhymes about puke and shit We'd blow your mind if your mind was in your dick We'd blow your mind if you mind was in your dick (x4) Got atleast four songs about chicks with cocks Tentacle rape and your daughter is a cunt Eating your friends and piles of shit We'd blow your mind if your mind was in your dick We'd blow your mind if you mind was in your dick (x4) Abby's got a huge cock and John Day's bad in bed Craig gave us herpes after Raalph erased our heads Davey's still mating and Judy is our bitch We'd blow your mind if your mind was in your dick! We'd blow your mind if you mind was in your dick (x4)

about

Hail Satan!!!

credits

released January 1, 2012

Second debut album by Secondhand Destruction.
Kris "Stench" Threat- guitar, lead vox
Bobby "Xerox" Waif- drums, vox
Nick "Fatty" Bungenstock* - bass, vox

Additional vocals: Heather Williams, Kenneth "Cakey McButterlumps" Foltz

Special Thanks: Satan, PumpkinSlut, The Stink, Ryan Schwass (whoever the fuck that is!), Camp PP, Mr. Clit and the Pink Cigarettes, Brutal Age, Poop, Satan, Your mom, Satan, Craig Isaacs (sorry dude you don't get a song this time), Nick Cassette (and any and all bands he is in lately), and all our friends that I don't feel like writing down because I'm a lazy asshole. And Satan.
*Nick doesn't actually appear on this album, but whoever really recorded the bass was probably fat.

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Secondhand Destruction Cincinnati, Ohio

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